Seriously, I can't even... I don't know where to start this post.
I have always been the type of person that keeps planning the future before hand. However, I have never been the type of person to get upset if the things in my life don't go as planned. Because I know you can never predict what happens in the future. Moreover, my plans are usually simply some goals I set for myself and I don't care about how I achieve those goals: I leave that for the life to decide.
Despite this there have been so many drawbacks since the end of 2014. I am not sure if those have made me feel like I got no control on my life anymore but all this surely has made it really hard for me to be motivated like I usually am.
I feel like there is a little bit sunshine but there is still so much to do and a lot of things that can go wrong. Because there has been so many drawbacks I am now afraid everything will go wrong... Even though everyone keeps telling me to look on the bright side and keep my head high. My goals now are to get my BA degree and to go for an exchange year in South Korea. However, in the case of exchange year the university I am applying into could still refuse my application. And in the case of my BA degree there is this one obligatory course I have failed twice already. I'm taking the exam once again tomorrow and I hope for the best. Wish me luck!
Otherwise, everything is starting to look good: My BA thesis is almost finished and I simply need to do the final touches and attend seminar to give a presentation on my thesis. I am also attending a seminar related to Asian studies. There I need to write a thesis of 25 pages and hold a presentation on that thesis. I have fallen behind the schedule on that one but it is still something I am not too worried about. I have been working on that but I simply need start writing to get all the thoughts in my head on paper.
The major drawback this year has been the flu I got. I never got properly sick, yet I couldn't recover from it: I was so dead tired all the time. I barely managed to get myself through couple hours of lectures per day. When I got home I had to take a nap and even after the nap I couldn't focus on studying. The flu has also been the reason for me to put on weight. I haven't been able to exercise properly for about 3-4 months: First I was too busy because of my studies and part-time job and then I was down with flu and no energy at all to get myself to gym or anywhere else to exercise. So my plans for the summer are to spend the entire summer in my summer job place and gym.
One thing I have been upset about has been the drawing project that I started. But for now I have decided it is more important for me to focus on my studies getting back on track healthier lifestyle. I might draw sometimes but EXO members have to wait till the summer. Oh, and one more worry. I'll be moving back to my parents' place for the summer in case I get to go to South Korea. It'll be much easier to arrange everything knowing my things are safely in my parents' house rather than renting my place to someone I might not know for the time I am away. The problem is that I have so much more furniture than I had when I moved out from my parents' place. Oh, well I'll worry about that after this semester ends.
I feel like I need to point out my intention has not been to gather up pity points. It just to pour down all the thoughts on paper to get some peace of mind. Once you get the thoughts on paper the problems don't seem that bad anymore. And I know I am not the only one with these kind of problems. If you have any motivational stories to lighten up my mood let me know.
I sincerely hope next time you hear from me I can happily inform you that I have gotten the BA degree done and the approval from South Korea.
xxx
